This week I got reacquainted with a friend of mine from several years ago. She was in my youth group when I pastored at the Winona Lake Free Methodist Church. Tanya's her name. Anyway, Tanya was always one of my favorite youth group members. I suppose pastors aren't supposed to have people that they like more than others, but it's only natural to be drawn to some, to those who have like personalities, common tastes, similar senses of humor. Tanya was one of the many in my youth group like that for me. In fact if you look at my office door you'll see a name plate that was made out of wood. Tanya made it for me way back in 1994. I always liked it and so I've used it to help people see which is my office as opposed to Pastor Sue's, or Pastor Shawn's, or Pastor Serge's. Long story short, it was really nice to hear from Tanya again after so many years.
But she shared something with me that really made be grieve. Her little sister, Kendra, was in a horrible auto accident this past February. After a lot of prayers, tears, and late night vigils, Tanya and her family removed life support on February 8. Kendra was buried four days later.
Now I obviously knew Kendra, as she was a part of the church along with her sister, brother, and parents. I knew her by knowing Tanya. But I wasn't prepared for how viscerally news of her death would affect me. I was sort of numb for several moments. I couldn't really believe it. So young. So much potential. So tragic.
And as I've processed this news and talked with Tanya a bit more since that first connection, I've come to see that my response is perhaps right in line with what Jesus would have us to do as brothers and sisters in Christ. One of my favorite passages of Scripture is Romans 12:9-21, and in those verses, in verse 15 in particular, we read, "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn."
Whereas Kendra's passing doesn't affect me personally all that much, it does deeply affect someone that I consider a friend, and causes me to grieve. To mourn with those who mourn.
So I suppose this morning as I remember Kendra, I'd like to encourage you to remember those you meet each and every day. May each of us as heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, each of us as members of the family of God, grow sensitive to those who journey alongside us, and find within our hearts the capacity to cry, to celebrate, to mourn, to dance. May we model community for this world that stresses individualism, and remind all who come home to Christ that they are never alone.
Dr. Bruce Cromwell
About Me
- Pastor Bruce
- Lansing, MI, United States
- I've been married to the Rev. Dr. Mindi Grieser Cromwell for 10 years, and we're blessed to have two wonderful sons, Levi Daniel Grieser Cromwell and Bennet Nelson Cromwell. It's been my privilege to write for the Free Methodist denomination's "Light and Life" magazine for six years now, penning the Church History article in the Deeper Path section. That fits well with my passion for reading, for writing and, well, for sports. Too many books... too many fantasy leagues... too little time.
1 comment:
As Kendra's older sister I was able to watch her grow and become a beautiful young woman. She was a very kind, caring and fun-loving person.
Kendra and I were like two peas in a pod, or two tired legs in a paddle boat? Either way, there was never a dull moment whenever we were together. We had some kind of connection, in which only sisters could understand.
I never had imagined that our relationship would end so abruptly. I was not ready to say, "Goodbye", to my little sister, my buddy and bestfriend. Unfortunately, we do not always get what we want. God had other plans for Kendra.
After Kendra's passing, we all dealt with many different emotions and feelings. Some of us dealt with uncertainty, pain, anger and sorrow. The room was silent and it was as though God himself had engulfed us with His precense. The sun started to shine through the window of the hospital room and it's warmth was comforting. There was a sense of peace through our pain.
I was not angered over Kendra's situation, I just prayed that God would take her quickly, if it was His will to do so, and He did.
God understands our sufferings', for He watched His only Son Jesus die a human death on a cross. As a parent, I do not believe that I could endure the pain and agony of watching my son die from such a brutal death. The thought of it just makes me sick to my stomach!
God's love is Amazing! And again, God does understand. For whenever we mourn, He comforts us. When we are sick, He heals us. When we are broken, He completes us. Whenever we feel lonely, He is always by our side to give us company. We are never alone.
Life is not supposed to be easy. If we had all of the answers, then we would not rely on God and have true faith in Him.
When a person so close to us dies, we feel as though the world should stop, take a moment of silence or something to that effect. But it does not stop turning, people continue to live their lives and the doctors' prepare for new patients' and challenges.
Kendra will always be missed and remembered! She has touched many lives in many different ways. Her love and friendship has left a lasting impression in my life!
I thank God for the 21 years, in which I was blessed to spend time with Kendra and get to know her.
I know that she is in very good hands and I believe that she is singing and dancing in Heaven!
God does not expect perfection from imperfect people. But He does expect us to follow His word and live for His purpose. Everyone is a child of God! And He lives us all unconditionally!
We cannot see the future and we cannot change the past. We must live each day, as if it were our last.
Thank you Bruce for your kind words and prayers. You are a true friend and God has blessed you with many gifts. I pray that God will protect you and your family always! May you all be showered with His great blessings in the days ahead!
Take Care,
Tanya
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